I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
please come you make the beer taste better
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
