There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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