He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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