Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
