thus making me awesome and them whores
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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