she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
