I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
