You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
