Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
