I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
