my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
