He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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