Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
