and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
