I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
