Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
