Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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