I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
