Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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