gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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