How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
