you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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