I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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