I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize