i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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