Already got asked if we're dating
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
