I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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