yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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