If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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