Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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