i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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