you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize