so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They are going to name an STD after you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
