I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
