my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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