We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
