No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
