my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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