I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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