hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm like, not good at living.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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