Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
