Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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