You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize