So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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