yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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