Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
