She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
