just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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