Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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