It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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