So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
