no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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