have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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