I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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