I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize