the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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