cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
