Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
