she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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