after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
