I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
